Today we were talking about how the people in our lives had met and fallen in love. One story was that they always went to school together and in middle school, he started to tease her by dipping her braids in the ink wells on their desks. Then they fell in love and were married at 17.
Another was that the woman’s best friend was dating her future-husband’s brother and came home to her saying “I met the man you’ll marry. I just know it.” The woman married her friend’s boyfriend’s brother less than a year later and they’re still truly madly deeply in love.
One was that the woman’s older sister had been dating this man who wouldn’t quit smoking for her. So she dumped him and her little sister snatched him up. They were married for 65 years before he died.
Mine is that we saw each other at the bowling alley and he added me to his friends list. Then we started hanging out and the future is yet to be told.
I just hope in 30 years it sounds as romantic as the stories I heard today.
He talked about us, he told me “I thought it would be us first!”
I’m actually anxious RIGHT NOW that if and when I marry him, my body will betray and humiliate me. Alone, I don’t mind. With him, I don’t mind. With our friends, I rarely mind. With strangers, I don’t mind.
In front of my family? I will be mortified.
I want a church wedding. I want to walk down that aisle and fight to stay tearless for at least the altar approach. I know I will fail. I know that unless I let myself fall into the grip of heavy duty medication, my knees will buckle, my hands will go numb, and my head will bob with the butterflies that aren’t visible on anyone else.
I wish my body wasn’t LITERALLY an open book. I’ve become so wary of the future.
My plants are growing super great, considering IDFK WHAT IM DOING. They’re really tolerant of me over and under watering them for like DAYS AT A TIME. and they resist the dog pretty well, considering she gets her cable wrapped around them and likes to plunge her face into their dirt.
Also “The Family” is one Netflix and it was SO ADORABLE, if violent. It was a date night movie at the theater for us.
So I feel like today will be a good day, even though I have no particular goals or to-do’s.