I got given a script for Modafinil (provigil) for 100mg once daily for five days.
Took my first dose at 8am thursday on an empty stomach.
By 930 I was disoriented but still very functional. Like someone having a blonde moment, only it wouldn’t go away.
By lunch time, I was thinking, hey, this is going okay. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Only I was SO HOT that it made my eyes water and made my face match my cherry red sweater. And my feet, hands, and insides felt like ice.
By 345, I was hysterical, panicky, alternately sobbing and laughing for short bursts, and trembling enough that it affected my writing and coordinating a bit.
I hid with some nurses that I like at work who have a more private office.
I cried, made them cry, made them laugh, learned about their families and struggles with mental illness as an empathy attempt, and was made aware that I was talking like an auctioneer.
Around 415, the Dr. I work for gave me a birthday card and scolded me for not being on my game and for disappearing when he “neeeeeeded” me.
I burst into tears and told him I was leaving early and I’d “do all the shit tomorrow but not now.”
I called my doc and told him this was ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR WORK and that I wouldn’t be filling the upped dose of 200mg on sunday.
Because even though I told him I didn’t want to medicate and didn’t take meds well, he wants me on provigil and xyrem.
Well, I talked with a Xyrem nurse who was so sweet and let me cry on the phone and really didn’t have to deal with my drug-induced anxiety. She reminded me that I’m in control. That I’m the one who calls the shots, even if I feel out of control.
She told me, “You drive this bus. It stops any time you want.”
I think it stops yesterday cause fuck no brah.
My cat grooms herself so loudly that I can hear her from the other room, up a flight of stairs. So when she sits on the couch with me, she gets all offended that I make her stop.
BITCH STOP MAKING WEIRD DROOL NOISES I AM NOT OKAY WITH THE WET SOUND YOUR FACE MAKES.
So she hides under things where I can’t get her and I have to go in another room cause it’s such a bad noise to me.
Coming soon. NOT SOON ENOUGH. *grabby hands*
I really really enjoyed this. Like a little too much. Bad behavior or not, she’s talenteeddddddddd.
Miley covered Outkast’s “Hey Ya” and it’s perfect.
AHAHAHAH just lold for like a solid two minutes.
i changed hi to nugget in my moms phone
PHANTOM POOPERS OMG HAHAHAH
Things Boys Don’t Understand Part 3